Ugh fuck. Crushing on my boss is inappropriate and also totally useless, since we live in different states. Also, he’s my boss. Had five days with him, did nothing. Think he likes me, but he might just be annoyed by me. In the meantime, it has precluded any hookups with others who actually like me. My life is strugs, mostly created by myself.
Today was so fucking confusing. This guy I thought I might like basically told me he wanted me to be his Valentine, and in response I realized I really didn’t like him romantically and steered the conversation in a totally different direction. On the other hand, I developed a massive crush on another, much less appropriate, source who is super awesome but also super problematic. Fuck.
I am really, really not sure if this guy is hitting on me. I am equally unsure whether I want him to be. If this were a normal person I would say he definitely was, but he is strange and also my boss. So. God this is weird.
Why do I literally only crush on unattainable people. It’s seriously a problem. And becoming more unattainable only makes them more attractive to me.
So I guess the most recent drama in my life is that one of my friends is treating me like shit. Actually two, but one hurts more because I know she doesn’t do this to her other friends. She only texts me if it conveniences her or if she needs something from me, which is becoming painfully obvious. It’s worse because I do a ton of shit for her voluntarily because I thought we were best friends or at least really good friends. But she tells my secrets to other people and doesn’t tell me anything personal about herself. Not really sure how we got to this point, but I really just don’t feel like putting any effort into the friendship anymore.
In other news, I have a couple of potential hookups coming into town this weekend. There aren’t many of those at college because I hang out mostly with gay guys and a few (mostly taken) gay girls. I have a crush on one of the latter category, but so does the entire school so I have basically no chance there. Anyway, I’m sick of getting less action than all my friends.
There’s also this girl who’s younger and bi. And I had a feeling she might have a crush on me, but I told her I was straight. Even though I’m not, and she’s gorgeous and smart. But it wouldn’t work anyway since it’s long distance. And now she’s kind of together with a guy, so I guess there’s that.
Starting this because my other tumblr has too many people I know IRL following. This is probably just going to be personal ramblings, and I doubt I’ll get any/many followers, but if you’re interested in the random ramblings of a college girl, feel free to stop by.